The Day I Knew God Didn’t Love Me

god stopped loving

The Day God Stopped Loving Me… And Maybe He Stopped Loving You.

POSTED BY Carlos Whitaker
God Love is True

I have such jacked up view of the word love.
I told that girl I dated that I loved her only to use her.
I was told by that scary man when I was 5 that he loved me only to be scarred by him.
I told my wife that I loved her only to destroy her.
I was told by that pastor that he loved me only to have him stab me in the back.

It’s no wonder that when I tell my non Christian friends that God loves them, they look at me with glossy eyes and say…
“Oh. Cool.”

So you may call me a pagan.
You may call me a false teacher.
But let me tell you when I got it.

I finally got it when I stopped believing God loved me and started believing this.
When God sees me He literally gets weak in the knees.
He loses His breath for a second. His heart palpitates.
God has to sit down for a second because He is SO enamored and obsessed with me that He watches my every move with a reckless hope that I may, just for a moment, look Him back in the eyes.
And when I do, His entire week is made.

That’s what God feels about me.
You may call that love.

I don’t.
I call that a hopeless longing.

So if God loving you isn’t working for ya.
It’s ok.
Cause our word for love doesn’t even touch what God feels for you.

It’s better that way.


2 thoughts on “The Day I Knew God Didn’t Love Me”

  1. Love is written, talked about, in multitudinous ways. Taking center stage are God’s love and man’s love. Often depicted as being bestowed upon some, and held back from others. Requiring certain ceremonial acts, and/or having hidden conditions connected to that attainment. Even today’s dictionary defines love as: a strong affection or liking for someone or something; a passionate affection for someone, etc. And it is within this ideal of love, we are so mistaken, as to what real love, really is.
    Through lust and emptiness, one attempts to reinvent that which is so deep and unutterable. On the other hand, from a full heart, the unutterable is not only expressed… but recognized.
    Where the presence of love is, it can be seen and felt as all encompassing, rather than self gratifying. Its bigger, deeper and wider than many of the usual ways of showing it, and have for too long been mistaken as tokens of it.
    Real love is beneficial in itself, and needs nothing else to be complete. From the vantage point of subjectivity, however, love has limits, strings attached, and gain.
    Differentiating real love from self love, it becomes obvious as to which one is engaged simply by noticing who benefits from it, and how. To benefit is suppose to mean something good, but when it comes from the body’s desires and cravings, even the word good is suspect to scrutiny. In order to benefit and do good, the act has to be of a virtuous nature, which always includes others than just myself, and not only for the present, but long term too.
    The mechanics of love, are not easy to grasp when the mode of observation is small and transitory. Love depends on nothing, is a compilation of everything, and naturally gravitates outward… straight from the heart.

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